Mordecai's Sickness
by fluorescentgirl19
Summary: Mordecai has become sick and the others need to discover why and the cure. EDIT: Note: check the genre and the characters if you're not a fan of people being gay. It is very clear there, but since people are throwing a hissy fit, MORDECAIXBENSON. And for all of you lovelies that favorited and left lovely reviews, I love your faces and glad you enjoyed. Mwah.
1. The Sickness

**I hope you enjoy this little blumber my brain has had. I'll continue as often as I write.**

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><p>Mordecai was moody lately.<p>

Rigby thought this as they swept up the leaves that had fallen from the trees the day before. For about a week now, Mordecai had been sulky and not talking much. Even if he did talk, it was usually to make a snappy or sarcastic comment. Rigby had taken to not even trying to speak to him lately, mostly cause he didn't like getting punched. Mordecai's voice may be silent, but his fists were as loud as ever.

The silence irked Rigby until he finally let out a deep sigh and dropped his rake. "Duuuuude," he droned. "This is soooo boring." Mordecai didn't say anything, but he dropped his rake in response and walked off towards the house. Rigby scampered after, making sure not to miss video game time or cool internet videos.

By the time Rigby actually caught up to Mordecai, he groaned loudly. Mordecai was taking up the whole couch, looking up at the ceiling brooding. Rigby stomped over, his immaturity showing. "C'mon, man, give me some room to sit," he whined.

Mordecai sighed, his brow furrowing. "I don't feel good, dude. I need the whole couch."

Rigby snorted, then tried pushing Mordecai's feet away. "If you don't feel good, you should be in our room, lying down." He stopped trying to push the jay's feet as he thought. "Wait, if you don't feel good, why were you even working? You could've gotten a free day off, man!"

Mordecai sighed again. "I didn't wanna miss going out tonight with everyone."

Rigby pshawed. "Dude, we go out like once a week. It's nothing special."

"Whatever, dude," the jay responded as he turned over to face the couch cushions.

"AUUUGGGGHHH!" Rigby screeched. "Why don't you just freaking talk to me?"

Mordecai turned his gaze angry. "There's nothing to talk about! Just leave me alone!"

Rigby sighed a long, annoying sigh, then scampered off, in search of good company. Mordecai closed his eyes, sighing for the third time. He rubbed his temple, trying to rub away his sickness. This illness was taking up his life now. He could hardly think straight about anything without hearing the voices. It started such a long time ago, but it seemed lately, specifically this past week, it was getting so much worst. He just wished this night would clear things up, and maybe convince him of…something. He drifted off into a light sleep.

Suddenly he heard, "Dude, I think he's dead."

Mordecai opened his eyes to see Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, Rigby, Skips and Pops surrounding his body on the couch. He hurriedly sat up, muttering, "I'm not dead."

"My dear Mordecai, are you alright?" Pops asked, worried about his friend.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine Pops. Just tired," the blue jay lied.

Skips looked like he wanted to say something, but kept his mouth shut.

Benson came into his view. "Well, are we going or not?" The gumball machine man looked irritated that they hadn't gotten a move on yet.

"Oh, Benson, we were just waiting on Mordecai. We were worried about his physical condition," Pops said, hoping to break Benson from his irritation.

The gumball machine man walked up to the blue jay. "Mordecai, if you're sick, you shouldn't go out. You should stay home and get some rest."

Mordecai shook his head vehemently. "No, Benson, I'm fine! I worked all day and just took a little nap. I'm fine!" He looked at the faces around him, doubt etched on all of them.

"Dude, you look like one of those whales that gets washed up on shore and is close to death," Rigby chimed in. Mordecai punched him and the raccoon fell, whimpering as he held his arm.

Benson sighed. "Skips, do you think Mordecai is okay to go out?"

The yeti hopped over to Mordecai and examined him. "Yeah, I think he's okay. He's not contagious or anythin'."

Benson nodded. "Alright, let's head on over to Cheezer's."

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><p>By the time the gang was halfway through their meal, Mordecai didn't feel so bad anymore. Everyone was in a good mood. Benson was even smiling, which made Mordecai smile. Benson deserved more happiness in his life.<p>

Suddenly a red wing flashed in front of Mordecai's face. He looked up from his gaze to see Margaret in front of him. He smiled.

"Hey Mordecai," Margaret smiled back. "Haven't seen you in a while."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I've been trying to wean my body off of coffee. Y'know, it messes with your sleep schedule and what not."

She giggled back. "Well, just wanted to let you know I've missed you. We should talk soon." Her eyes met his, a question in them.

He shook his head slightly, his smile fading slightly. "Yeah, sometime soon."

She waved goodbye and walked away. Mordecai watched her, thoughts forming in his head, then turned back to the table. He realized with a start that most of the members were smirking at him.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Don't give me that innocence, bro," Muscle Man smirked. "She totally wants you."

Mordecai shook his head. "Dude, no. We dated for a little while, and things just didn't work out."

Rigby elbowed the jay. "Looks like you got the message mixed up, dude. She totally wants you back."

Mordecai sighed. "Whatever, can we just move on with the conversation?"

All the while, Skips watched, staring at Mordecai.

"Benson?" A high pitched voice broke the current train of thought in the group as Benson turned to see the lovely Audrey behind him, a big smile on her face. Mordecai's sickness lurched back with a sudden violence. The blonde who he had met only this past week when taking Benson to her party made his stomach sour.

Benson smiled back. "Hey Audrey. How have you been?"

"Oh, you know, just fine." She fluttered her eyelashes at the gumball machine man before casting her gaze around the rest of the table. Her eyes rested on Mordecai. "You boys don't mind if I borrow Benny for a minute, do you?"

With the mention of 'Benny', Mordecai's sickness grew ten times worse. While the boys all smirked and made suggestive comments, Mordecai stood up suddenly. Everyone looked at him in alarm.

"Ugh, I don't feel so good," he managed to stammer before racing to the bathroom. He found an empty stall just in time. As he emptied his stomach into the porcelain toilet, he heard footsteps behind him.

"Oh, dude that's sick!" Muscle Man shouted as he quickly left the premises, accompanied by High Five Ghost.

"SHUT UP!" Rigby screamed. He took two steps nearer to Mordecai. "Dude, you okay?"

Mordecai panted, his head hung in the toilet, not saying anything. He was worried if he tried to talk, another wave of vomit would overcome him. Skips hopped towards him and put one hand on his back.

Benson walked into the bathroom, concern on his face. "Mordecai?"

Skips answered for the sick blue jay. "His condition is a lot worse now. We need to get him back to the house."

He slipped one of his muscular arms under Mordecai's limp wing and pulled him up. Pops, the next tallest and closest to Mordecai, did the same on Mordecai's other side. They dragged him through the restaurant and all the way home.

Rigby ran ahead, making sure Mordecai's bed was free of objects that could be pokey and annoying. When he gave the clear, Skips and Pops laid their pale friend on his mattress. At this point, Mordecai could barely keep his eyes open. Benson approached the bed as Rigby pulled the covers over the blue jay.

"Skips, is he going to be okay?" He asked, his voice touched with concern for his employee.

Skips shook his head. "It's too early to tell," he muttered. "He might be able to sleep it off though. I'll check in on him tomorrow morning."

Mordecai groaned, making the others look at him with worry.

"Oh dear," Pops whispered, his eyes filling with tears. "I do hope Mordecai will be alright."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Benson said, not sure if he was trying to convince Pops or himself.

That was the last Mordecai remembered as he drifted off into a deep sleep.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading.<strong>


	2. The Realization

**I couldn't wait to post the second, when I'd already written it. Third is in the making, but it may take a bit longer. Enjoy.**

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><p>Benson made sure to arrive at the house early the next morning, in hopes that Mordecai's condition had become less severe. He didn't really want to leave last night, but Skips insisted, saying that he could take care of everything. Pops had been put to sleep with promises of Mordecai's recovery and Rigby slept on the couch, because while he still cared about his buddy, he didn't want to catch the sickness.<p>

As Benson opened the door, he could tell that things were not, in fact, better at all. Rigby looked crestfallen, like he'd been crying. Pops was sniffling in the corner. Muscle Man and High Five Ghost weren't even talking, which was a rare quality in itself. Benson took one step in the house to have the whole group look at him, then Pops came running to him, tears falling down his face.

"Oh, Benson, it's an awful, bad show," he sobbed, gripping the gumball machine man. Benson hugged Pops awkwardly, but before he could ask what had happened, Skips started down the stairs. Pops let go and slunk off the corner again while everyone else couldn't take their eyes of Skips. He approached Benson, his eyes gloomy.

Everyone was silent except for the small sniffles of Pops. Skips looked up at Benson. He cleared his throat. "Mordecai is in a coma," he said gruffly, yet softly.

Benson felt a sharp pang. He hadn't been expecting that. It was better than the jay being dead, for sure, but still, a coma?

"Why?" he asked softly, casting his eyes down.

"He suffers from severe lovesickness."

Benson's head shot up. "Lovesickness?" he said in disbelief. There was no way that was an actual disease.

Skips nodded gravely. "I'm afraid so."

There was a pause before Benson threw open his arms. "Well, there has to be a cure, right?"

"It's not so simple, Benson," Skips explained. "Mordecai's been lovesick for a long time now. It's difficult to tell when it started, or with who. It got progressively worse this past week, though, so something changed. We need to find out what."

"Wait, you mean this started a while ago? Why didn't you do something earlier?" Rigby screeched, angry that his friend could have gotten help.

Skips shook his head. "The only way to help would be to get the person Mordecai loves to show he cares for Mordecai, either as a friend or more. If they rejected him even as a friend, there would be no recovery," he said, glancing around the room.

"Well, that's easy," Muscle Man burst out as everyone turned to him. "We all know that hottie robin likes that dude. We just hook 'em up!"

"But Muscle Man," Pops quivered in, tears clearing, "Mordecai insisted he and Margaret were no more."

Rigby pshawed. "Yeah right, he was probably just hiding it so we wouldn't embarrass him too hard."

Benson cleared his throat. "Then, what are you waiting for? Call her over!"

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><p>The friends sat in the living room, making no conversation. Margaret was upstairs with Mordecai, but there was no joyful sound of someone being woken up from possible death. Just tears and a quiet female voice.<p>

A door creaked and they all looked upstairs to see Margaret walking down. She brushed a few tears away and smiled a watery smile. "I'm sorry to let you down guys," she said softly. "He's not coming out for me."

The guys all hung their heads in sadness. Rigby sighed and got up from the couch as Pops started tearing up again. "Well, Mags, I guess I'll walk you home then."

The robin held up her hands. "No, it's fine Rigby. Thanks though." She smiled, then turned to Benson. "Actually, could I have a word with you, Benson?"

Benson looked surprised, but followed Margaret outside. They began walking the trek through the park to where they both lived: the city. After a moment or two of silence, Benson pulled Margaret aside, next to a park bench. "So what did you need to talk about?" he forced out, feeling awkward. He didn't know Margaret well, and he didn't know what he would do if she broke down about Mordecai.

She took a deep breath and looked at her feet. "Benson, Mordecai needs to come back," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. Benson just looked on. He didn't know what to say. Did she expect him to just tap the blue jay and suddenly everything would be good as new?

Suddenly, she looked up, a ferocity in her eyes. "You and I both know who he loves," she said harshly. "And his condition only got worse a week ago. You need to do something about this, because no one else can." Her eyes softened, as did her voice. "I just hope you'll do the right thing." She waved goodbye, leaving the stunned park manager by himself.

What was the right thing? What could only he do? He started off towards his apartment, his head all kinds of muddled and confusion. Who did Mordecai love that he knew? He started to grow frustrated as the questions kept circling around, becoming a blur of things he wasn't sure about. And with frustration grew anger. Why would Margaret say those things? Her assumption was pissing him off.

By the time he reached his apartment building, the anger had drifted off into depression. He had no clue. Margaret knew, but thought he should already know. It's like the pressure of getting Mordecai back was all on his shoulders. How was he going to get Mordecai back?

His insides sunk. Every time he thought of the blue jay's name, he thought of the last time he saw him: being dragged into his bed, with hardly any awareness of what was going on. Benson hadn't gone back into Mordecai's room since he found out about the coma. Every time he even thought about it, his stomach clenched and tears threatened to start. He didn't know why.

Scratch that; he knew exactly why. Somehow, through all the arguments, yelling (on his part), slacking (on Mordecai's), and the craziness that always consumed the park, it had happened.

Now Benson always knew he was gay; there was no denying it. It wasn't like he was really effeminate or anything; he just preferred men to women. He was usually by himself though, as he was dedicated to his work and his drums. He had great friends, a decent job, a nice set of drums. Who needed a love life? He was fine.

That's what he kept telling himself, until he recognized the yearning in his body for hearing the blue jay's laugh, his excuses, his…everything. He realized the friendship he barely wanted to acknowledge had turned to love behind his back.

And now it seemed it was biting him on the ass.

He reached his floor and began to turn his doorknob as he heard Audrey's door creak open. She peered out, in her pajamas, a concerned look on her face. "Benson? Why are you back so late?"

Benson sighed, glum filling every aspect of him. "He's in a coma," he muttered. Audrey's expression turned shocked and she covered her mouth with her hands.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Benny," she said, her gaze sympathetic. She opened her door wide. "Come on in, I'll make tea."

Benson walked in without so much as a thank you, and headed towards her outside balcony. Within the week, he had spent so much time in Audrey's apartment, it was like he lived there himself. He sat down on the concrete and stared into the sky, reaching for his cigarettes. He found them after a few minutes of rustling, but his lighter was nowhere to be found. He sighed, annoyed.

"Audrey, could I borrow a match?" he asked loudly. He took the disapproving sigh inside as a yes as she brought him out a match book. He struck it and lit up the first of many cigarettes he would smoke tonight. Her eyes looked on in disapproval.

"Benson, you know I hate it when you smoke."

"Smoking keeps me calm," he replied, releasing the puff he'd been holding in. Audrey shook her head, but let it slide.

"So, why is he…" She left the question unanswered. He released another puff of the toxic cloud.

"Skips says it's lovesickness."

Audrey sighed. "Serious, then." Benson nodded, the cigarette smoldering in his fingers.

"They thought it might be Margaret, but nothing happened," he said, his voice lifeless to his ears.

Audrey tried to remain positive. "Well, then you might still have a chance," she reasoned. "I mean, sure you're not the most lovable guy in the world, but I got sucked into your charm before you told me about your, um, preference." She snuck in a small smile that the gumball machine did not return.

"Fat chance," he muttered, sucking in more smoke. "He's only been with girls, and his condition worsened this week. I sure as hell haven't changed, so it's not me."

Audrey sighed again, this time in annoyance. "Well, you never know Benson," she said. A tea whistle sounded and she retreated to the kitchen.

Benson was left to his smoke and his thoughts. What could have happened this week? Nothing crazy really, except that party he didn't really remember at all.

His thoughts suddenly stopped. The party. The day after was when Mordecai started feeling worse. He thought hard until his brain came up with a conclusion as his heart sunk.

He stepped wearily into Audrey's apartment as she poured the tea. Without turning around, she said, "Now Benson, no smoking inside." He didn't answer and she turned around to see his upset face.

"What is it, Benny?" she asked, concerned.

He sighed in lost hope.

"He loves you, Audrey."

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading. I'll try to get the next one out within a few days.<strong>


	3. The Confrontation

**Here's the next installment! I'll get working on the next one soon.**

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><p>Audrey laughed, thinking Benson was out of his mind. She stopped when she saw he fully believed it.<p>

"Benson," she started, trying to find the words nicely. When she couldn't, she gave an exasperated sigh and pulled her hands down to her hips. "There's no way Mordecai would love me. I mean, we met each other in the past week!"

Benson tightened his fingers into fists, trying not to explode from the hurt he felt at the situation and the fact he had to _explain _why the jay _he _loved didn't return his feelings. "That's just it," he said as he gritted his teeth. "Mordecai's symptoms got worse in this past week. Nothing new happened except that he met _you._"

Audrey found herself searching for anything that could explain the sudden change in the blue jay. She stuttered on words, trying to make sense of her thoughts as Benson grew angrier at his cruel fate. His voice got louder.

"He was okay when we got to the restaurant, but then whenever _you _show up, he gets worse! And where were you when he ran to the bathroom? You said goodbye and that we'd talk later. I helped take him home! I made sure he was tucked in! _I cared for him! _WHAT DID YOU DO?" He was screaming now; his face had turned bright red and his thoughts weren't right. _Unfair, unfair, unfair_! his brain shouted over and over again.

Audrey was close to tears. "Benson, I only showed up to make him jealous! You told me you liked him; I just wanted to help you!" Her voice cracked on her last word, making Benson's anger stop escalating.

A clear thought appeared in his head. _She's right, y'know._ It came in the tone of Skips' gruff voice, the voice of reason. It didn't stop his anger from completely fading away, though. Or the pain of his heart.

He turned his back to his now crying female friend. "You can help me by showing up tomorrow at the park," he said, addressing her in the same tone he used to give out orders at the park, hiding his emotions. "You can get him to wake up." Then he left, without a response from the crying blonde.

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><p>The waiting game was in effect again. High Five Ghost and Muscle Man were out doing their duties, claiming they had to get out of the slump the house was in. Pops moped around downstairs, not doing anything, just sniffling every now and then. Rigby was helping Skips with some task; Skips knew Benson and Rigby in the same room would not be a smart idea, especially now.<p>

Benson sat on the couch, impatiently waiting. As soon as Audrey arrived, he had told her flatly where Mordecai was and refused to talk to her about anything else until she sighed and climbed the stairs to the second floor. He felt childish, but who could blame him? Not only does the blue jay apparently not like guys, he falls for Benson's close friend? He sighed in frustration. All this thinking was going to make him go nuts, especially given that Audrey had been in his room for well over half an hour now.

A door creaked from upstairs. Benson straightened up immediately, straining to hear the footsteps of his employee who he loved. He prepared himself for the sight of Audrey and Mordecai holding hands, giving into their feelings for each other. So what happened next surprised him.

Audrey came downstairs, alone. Her face was wet with tears, but her eyes were in a scowl, directed at Benson. She stepped up to him as he stood up, only for her to shove him back down to the couch. He flopped back down in shock, staring up at her.

"Do you believe me now, Benson?" she asked, her voice an angry whisper. "He. Doesn't. Love. Me."

This blew Benson's mind. There was no other explanation. He tried reckoning with Audrey. "What did you do?"

She barked out an angry laugh. "I did what you said! I talked to him! I told him who I was, why I was there; hell, I even started talking about the baby ducks I saw in the pond the other day! He didn't even twitch. It's not me, Benny."

Her voice calmed. "Now, I know you're upset, but maybe you just need to see him. Talk to him. Maybe it will help." Benson didn't respond and she sighed, but gave the gumball machine man a kiss on the forehead before saying bye and leaving.

Her words buzzed in his head. _See him. Talk to him. It will help._ He sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers. _Why the hell not at this point?_ His stomach still lurched slightly, but he made himself get up. He needed to see the blue jay, put things to an end with his feelings. No point in dragging out the inevitable.

He climbed the steps and while he kept walking to the slightly open door, his footsteps slowed considerably. His thoughts were terrifying him. What kind of state was Mordecai in now? Could he handle it? He made himself take a deep breath and he pushed the door open.

He looked pale, as pale as he had been in the restaurant, but other than that, he just looked like he was sleeping. His blanket covered the majority of his body, stopping at his chest, which was lightly moving up and down to confirm he was still alive. He had one wing outside the blanket, pulled close to his side.

Benson's breath caught in his throat. He was vaguely reminded of Snow White, but pulled himself out of that fantasy. He would _not_ kiss an unconscious person, no matter how much he liked the guy.

He took a few steps closer to the blue jay. His gaze swept over his body. How much he wanted Mordecai to just jump up and scare the shit out of him, and tell him he'd just pulled the most epic prank ever, but he knew it was just wishful thinking.

He sat down in the chair next to the bed that was set up. He cleared his throat and realized he had no idea what to say. Should he profess his love now, while the jay wouldn't know?

He started off awkwardly. "Um, hey Mordecai." Nothing happened. He took a deep sigh. He didn't know what he thought would happen, but whatever he thought wasn't happening. "I need you to come back," he said weakly, waiting for some kind of response. Nothing came.

He buried his head in his hands, knowing this was pointless. No matter what he said, what he did, Mordecai would not be coming back because he didn't love him.

He stood up, sighing. "I miss you," he whispered, slipping his hand into Mordecai's limp one.

Suddenly the world changed. The furniture started shaking and everything seemed to fall away. Benson closed his eyes, anticipating the worst, when everything stopped.

He cracked open one eye, then both jolted open in shock.

Mordecai, the bed, the room, the park. Everything was gone.

He was surrounded by nothing, in nowhere. Just a space of black and red and purple melded together, every direction he turned.

"_What the HELL?"_

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading.<strong>


	4. The Confession

**Hope you guys are enjoying it so far.**

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><p>Benson was still looking around in shock when he heard footsteps from behind him. He turned, ready to face an attacker. He looked up with angry eyes and then stopped.<p>

The person the footsteps belonged to was a human, taller than Benson. He was skinny, with ripped-up black jeans that covered his long legs. His shoes were black high top Converse, obviously worn. His shirt was a flannel button-up, and underneath he had a white The National tee. His face was lean and handsome, with black eyes looking out. What shook Benson up, however, was not his clothes, or his face, or his height. It was the fact his hair was blue on the top layer, black underneath, done up in a style very similar to the blue jay's.

Benson took a step back. "Mordecai?" he asked, cautiously.

The human put a hand up in greetings. "Hey dude." His voice sounded exactly like Mordecai's.

Benson started pacing. "This, this is crazy. How did you get like that?" He gestured to the man's body.

The man gave out a small laugh, exactly like Mordecai. "Oh, dude, I've always been like this. See, I'm not the Mordecai you know. I'm his human incarnation, in his mind. Everyone has one. They thought about sending just the blue jay incarnation but," he leaned in and whispered, "he can't speak, like, English. So y'know, I'm here."

Benson stopped pacing and looked at him. "We're in Mordecai's mind?" Somehow, the thought wasn't too surprising, as crazy things were always happening to him.

The human Mordecai nodded. "Yeah, man. I was sent here to show whoever ventured in here where they should go to help Mordecai." He pointed to the gumball machine man. "You're the one who wants to help, right?"

Benson nodded, still awestruck.

"Okay, cool. You have to go through all his memories to find him."

"I have to go through _all_ his memories? How long is that going to take?" Benson knew this would be a long process, but a whole lifetime of memories to go through, just to find the blue jay?

The human Mordecai shook his head. "Naw, man, I made a shortcut. It only takes you through the most important memories you should know about. Then it dumps you off at the end, and you go find Mordecai and save him, or whatever."

"Oh. Well, thanks." Benson awkwardly shook the man's hand.

"No problem," the human replied. He then pointed in a direction past Benson's head. "The memories start there. Good luck, Benson." He gave the gumball machine man a quick hug before disappearing.

Benson looked to the direction and instead of there being nothing, there was a door, labeled "Mordecai's Short Memory Route". He walked up toward it, then with a deep breath, turned the knob.

He walked into the first memory. His eyes were momentarily blinded by the sunlight, until he became used to the light. He looked around and realized he was on the top of a building. He looked over the edge and saw a sign for the local high school. _So this is where we begin_, he thought, looking for Mordecai.

It didn't take long. He and Rigby were sitting on the roof with blankets and soda they had brought up, talking and laughing. Benson rolled his eyes. Of course, the dynamic duo was always slacking, even back in high school.

He dared to walk a little closer, trying to hear what they were saying.

"Duuuuuude!" Rigby shouted. "Ugh, I'm so SICK of this stupid school. I'm just gonna drop out. Like tomorrow!"

Mordecai shoved his friend. "Dude, come on, you gotta stick it out for your high school diploma."

The raccoon pshawed."Like when am I ever gonna need one of those?"

Mordecai sighed. "Whatever, dude."

A moment of silence passed and Rigby opened another can of soda, taking a swig. Benson couldn't help thinking, _Why is this moment so important? They're just slacking around!_

Suddenly, Mordecai gazed back at him. Benson's panic skyrocketed. He had nowhere to hide, and the jay was looking _right at him_! He tried to think up excuses when Mordecai turned back to Rigby, as if he didn't see anything. Benson realized with a start, _Of course. These are memories, I'm not actually here._

"Umm, so dude, I have something kind of important to tell you," Mordecai mumbled, his voice soft and worried. Benson's interest perked increasingly and he got so close, he could have touched the pair of friends.

"What is it, man?" The raccoon looked attentive, but not like he knew what was going on at all.

"Well, you know that party at Donny's that we went to last week?"

"The one that was off the hook? Yeah, man, best party ev-ah!" Rigby fist pumped, then took another gulp.

Mordecai remained uneasy. "Yeah, dude. Well, you remember Donny's cousin, Reggie?"

Rigby nodded. "Yeah, he was only there for, like, two days and then he went back home to wherever. He was a party animal! Swigging drinks down like nobody's business!"

Mordecai nodded. "Uh, yeah. Well, around one, I went down to the basement to see who was there, and he was just, lying on the ground, looking out the window at the stars."

"Was he high?" Rigby asked, putting his drink down.

Mordecai sighed, annoyed. "Dude, I don't know. He was just being weird. So I went to talk to him, right? And we were just chatting it up, laughing about some old movie, when he just started…" he hesitated, then continued. "He just started kissing me."

Rigby made a face. "Ugh, sick! Dude was probably too drunk to know what he was doing."

Mordecai put his head down, so Rigby couldn't see his expression.

"But, uh, dude…I kinda…let it happen."

Rigby stared at him, confused. "Like you let him continue kissing you?"

Mordecai nodded, still not looking at his friend. "Yeah. And I actually kinda…liked it."

Rigby looked on as the blue jay's face turned a bright red. Benson looked on in amazement. Mordecai had actually liked being kissed by a guy? This was news to him, thinking the blue jay was one hundred percent straight as a ruler.

Rigby was still confused. "But you said you thought Margaret was hot."

"I still do, man!" Mordecai argued defensively. "I still like girls, but, I just, I think I like guys…too."

Rigby continued to stare until Mordecai covered his head with his hands. "If you don't wanna be my friend anymore," he mumbled, "I'll understand."

Rigby snorted, making Mordecai look up. "Dude, that's a dumb reason to stop being friends with someone. I mean, you're still you, you just like swirl instead of vanilla."

Mordecai smiled a little. "Thanks, man."

Rigby took another gulp of soda. "Just don't talk about your guy crushes with me. I don't wanna hear about how you think Donny is hot."

Mordecai made a face. "Gross, man, Donny is disgusting!"

The two laughed and went back to talking. Benson sat behind them, looking amazed. He had always thought Rigby would be absolutely disgusted and want nothing to do with gay people, but he was totally cool with Mordecai coming out as bi. _Maybe I misjudged him_, he thought, smiling slightly.

He looked at Mordecai, and his heart raised a little higher with the smallest of hope. _Maybe I do still have a chance_.

The door where he had come from suddenly started to glow brightly, making Benson turn to it. He stood up and walked toward it, sure that he was on the path of the next memory.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading. The next one should be out relatively soon.<strong>


	5. The Question

**Hey everyone, I'm super sorry about taking forever and a half to update this. I know it's frustrating to wait, but I've been busy with school. Now that that's over though, I should be finishing this up within two weeks at the most. **

**Also very sorry this is so short, but the next one should be out tomorrow or the next day to make up for it. Only about three more updates I believe.**

* * *

><p>Benson opened another door, wondering what the next memory could be. He looked around and saw Mordecai and Rigby with…<em>Mordecai and Rigby<em>? He rubbed his eyes, but the four stayed the same. Two looked like rock stars, with red leather jackets and shades, even facial hair.

He took a harder look on the scene. Mordecai and Rigby were wearing those band t-shirts they wore for the concert everyone had gone to a few months ago.

He sighed. _I should be used to these instances by now._

He watched the Mordecai and Rigby he knew practice air guitar with the rock star versions looking on in fierce concentration. He couldn't help but stare at the rock star Mordecai with a bit of awe, feeling a slight blush tinge his cheeks.

Benson shook his head and scoffed. _I'm acting like a silly school girl with her first crush_, he thought grimly.

The rock star Rigby clapped his hands, calling everyone's attention to himself. "Alright, I s'pose it's time for a five minute break before we continue to get ya ready for the concert."

Rigby groaned, lying down. "Man, training's hard!"

Mordecai laid down beside him, panting. "I don't feel like I'm really learning anything!"

The rock star Mordecai barked out a laugh. "Well, c'mere, and ask me anythin'! Mebbe you'll learn a little somethin'."

Mordecai got up slowly and Benson's heart quickened at the sight of the sweat coming off the blue jay. He saw the bird's fierce determination, wanting something so bad. He swallowed, trying to shake off the feeling it was giving him.

_None of that, Benson, _he scolded himself. _Keep that sight for later, when you're alone._

He drew closer to the jays, wanting to hear their conversation. Mordecai looked over his shoulder at Rigby, who had closed his eyes for his break, as if he had already fallen asleep. The rock star Rigby was glancing at a cell phone as he lounged on the couch.

Mordecai took a deep breath and started to speak, very softly, so that Benson had to come in even closer to hear.

"You know that thing I asked you earlier, about Margaret?" he asked quietly.

The rock star Mordecai nodded. "Yeah, about you two getting' together?"

Benson's stomach sank a bit, but Mordecai continued. "Well, what about…me and…" His face turned a bright red, and he couldn't get the words out.

Before Benson even had a chance to wonder, the rock star Mordecai laughed. "Ya mean the guy you've been wantin' to get with since ya saw him play the drums?"

Mordecai nodded, unable to say anything.

"Well, let's just say he's not the only guy you're gonna be getting' it on with after you're famous," the rock jay smirked. "Hell, you basically turn out to be the next David Bowie of questionable sex!"

Benson looked at the leather clad bird, feeling the familiar feeling of anger coming on. This Mordecai…he was such a complete ass! Proud of his many conquests in the bedroom, encouraging his past self to begin his life of promiscuity. He felt sorry for the man who played the drums. Whoever he was, he would surely end up sad and alone.

His thoughts were interrupted with Mordecai's gasp of disbelief. "I don't want to get with every guy out there!" he said, scornfully. "That's disgusting!"

"Well, that's who you become, baby," the rock jay answered, a smirk still on his lips.

Mordecai looked ready for a debate, but before he could get started, the rock star Rigby clapped his hands again.

"Enough jabber!" he proclaimed, kicking his past self who whimpered on the floor. "Time to practice again!"

Mordecai glared at his future self before joining Rigby, starting with the fake exercises again.

Benson smiled a little at the Mordecai he knew, glad he wasn't a complete skeeze. Suddenly the human Mordecai appeared beside him, making Benson jump.

"Whoa, sorry, dude," he grinned, as Benson held his hand close to his heart. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Why are you here?" the gumball man asked, a little frustrated with how he had been completely thrown off by his sudden appearance.

"Oh, well, I just figured I could stay close. Nothing really to do here, with the main dude in a coma." He shrugged. "All the thoughts have slowed down. Besides, this memory only becomes important again later, which I can now fast forward to."

He waved his hands in front of him, a green fast forward button appearing out of nowhere. He looked at Benson, for the ok. Benson waved his hands in a 'go ahead' motion, eager for the next part of the memory.

The next moment they were on the stage, next to Mordecai and Rigby. Mordecai was proclaiming how they were faking playing guitar and singing, and he was greeted by silence until…

"This is where I start clapping," Benson said out loud, looking for himself among the crowd. The human Mordecai turned his head forcefully, back towards Mordecai.

"You already know what you do," he whispered. "You need to see the reaction."

Benson tried to resist, but as he heard his own clapping, he couldn't help but see the pure shock and joy radiate through Mordecai. He tuned out the rest of the applause that began to swallow all the sound in the building. Mordecai was excited that _he _had clapped, specifically for the jay. His heart felt full and he didn't even realize he was smiling until the human Mordecai coughed.

He turned his head towards the human and blushed involuntarily, trying to replace his lovestricken look with his usual serious one. "What now?" he pretended to grumble.

The human Mordecai gestured to the door opposite the stage which was glowing with intensity. "This way, if you please."

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading. I swear the next one will be out shortly.<strong>


	6. The Denial

**Only two to three more installments to go! Exciting, isn't it?**

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><p>Benson followed the human Mordecai through the glowing door. Everything was white for a little while, then slowly his eyes started to make out the scene in front of him. They were at the house. He looked around, and saw Mordecai, Rigby and Skips, but it looked like they were all sleeping.<p>

"So what's going on here?" he asked the human Mordecai, who in response, shushed him. He actually put his fingers to his lips, and shushed the gumball man. Benson felt the familiar rage build up, but before he could start letting loose, he heard a strange noise.

He looked back towards the TV and saw Skips, Mordecai and Rigby were sitting on the couch, nearly buried with what looked like film strips. Mordecai came to life first from their strange slumber.

"It's gone! Naked Pops is gone! I don't remember it anymore!" he cried joyfully, his eyes closed until the last word. The other two opened their eyes and smiled at the jay as Benson looked on confused, until he remembered what happened next.

"Oh no," he mumbled, his cheeks suddenly growing hot and flushed.

He saw himself walk in with just a towel on, and quickly covered his eyes, muttering, "God, I can't watch this."

He heard a small chuckle from the human Mordecai. "Suit yourself, I'm enjoying the view I'm getting."

Benson blushed furiously in response.

He still refused to look upward as he heard himself slowly grab the towel and hurriedly run up the stairs. He sighed in shame, then finally uncovered his eyes.

Skips spoke first. "Uh…well, I think my work here is done. See ya later, fellas." He scampered off, avoiding eye contact with the two friends. Benson was dreading what he was sure would happen next.

Sure enough, sounds of disgust were made. Rigby covered his eyes, groaning. "Now I'm gonna have to watch that video and catch naked Benson," the raccoon whined, his tail twitching.

Mordecai, however, seemed very distracted. "Well, uh, I have to go to the bathroom," he stammered, leaving Rigby alone in the pile of film strips.

"Ugh, you're leaving me to clean up the mess too? Thanks a lot, Mordecai," Rigby grumbled, although instead of cleaning up the mess, he slid deeper into it for a nap.

The human Mordecai lightly nudged Benson. "Why do you think he went to the bathroom, eh?" He winked, smirking a bit.

Benson blushed, but turned away. "I'm sure to scrub out his eyes," he said scornfully, refusing to give into his hopes. There was no way that Mordecai felt…that way…about his body. Just thinking about it made him blush.

The human Mordecai sighed with annoyance. "Whatever, dude. Let's keep moving on, then."

The door glowed again, and Benson hurried through without even thinking about it. He just wanted to get away from the awkward situation.

* * *

><p>The next memory was at a hotel, strangely enough. Benson looked around and was relieved he had never been there, so he wouldn't have to relive his embarrassing moments.<p>

He saw Mordecai, Rigby, Margaret, and Eileen drive up in a beaten up, red car that resembled the nice one Margaret used to drive. He smacked his hand to his head and sighed. Of course, that would have been the dynamic duo's fault, as everything that went wrong always.

Still, he watched the scene, shaking his head.

The four emerged front the car, yawning and stretching. "Gee, I'm so tired from running from that deer man all night," Eileen said, sounding like she was already halfway to sleep.

"Good thing we found this hotel in time," Rigby yawned in agreement.

Mordecai tossed his wallet to Rigby, who barely caught it through his sleep deprivation. "Go get us a room, dude. I have to access the damage to Margaret's car, real quick, and see if we have to find a different way to get back home."

Rigby nodded and went off to find the front desk to check in, even though most guest would be checking out by now. Eileen followed him.

Mordecai began to look at Margaret's car, trying to find out if everything was okay. He didn't notice Margaret paying extra special attention to him.

"So, um, Mordecai…I really am glad you took me camping," she said, a bit nervously, but all smiles.

Mordecai didn't notice anything different and scoffed at her attempt at flirting.

"You don't have to lie, Margaret. It really wasn't that fun. I put you in harm's way, you got all dirty and wet, we pretty much totaled your car…"

She suddenly pulled the jay up, so he looked in her eyes. "No, I'm serious," she said, still smiling away. "And I wanted to do this earlier, but Eileen and Rigby were around, so…"

Benson's stomach dropped. He knew what was going to happen. And so it did. The robin's lips touched the blue jay's. First, Mordecai looked astounded, but then his eyes closed and he gave in to Margaret's soft kisses.

Benson felt like he was going to be sick as the two birds kissed on, becoming more confident with each breath in between. He turned his back toward the two and glared at the human Mordecai who watched on.

"Is there a reason why I have to watch their make out session?" he snarled. The human glared back at the gumball machine man.

"You just missed it!" he exclaimed, turning Benson back around.

Apparently, something was said or done while Benson had been trying to avoid the scene. Margaret looked confused and Mordecai looked beyond mortified, his cheeks bright red.

"What did you say?" she asked, her eye brows furrowing.

Mordecai hung his head, and mumbled something too quiet for anyone to hear, except the robin, a kissing distance away from him.

She looked on quizzically. "Do you…not like girls, Mordecai?"

The jay's cheeks grew brighter and he violently shook his head. "I do! I mean, I think I do…I think I like you, a lot! And-"

She cut him off with one finger to his lips, a soft smile on her lips. "It's okay if you don't. I just want to know. I don't want to confuse you or myself, or our feelings for each other." She backed away from him, just enough so their faces weren't as close. "I like being friends, and I'll always be there for you, no matter what."

Mordecai smiled, relief evident throughout his whole body. He suddenly hugged Margaret. "I wish I wanted to kiss you again," he said, squeezing her tight and making her laugh.

Benson's eyes were now huge. Mordecai was not only not straight…apparently he wasn't bi either. He was…gay? Like Benson? His heart twittered in his chest.

He was pulled out of his glee with a sharp whistle from behind. He turned to the human Mordecai who smiled with only warmth this time. "One last stop, before you get to see him, Benny," he said softly, holding out his hand as the memory began to dissolve and another one appear. Benson took his hand without a moment's hesitation.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading.<strong>


	7. The Party

**Thank you, all my readers. I love that you all are enjoying this so much. **

**Songs in this are :**

**Since You Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson (I personally do not think it's that bad, but I went with Mordecai's P.O.V.)**

**Wonderwall - Oasis**

**Creep - Radiohead**

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><p>The last memory already seemed so much different from the others. Maybe because it started out with loud music and people laughing and screaming before Benson could even see what was going on.<p>

He put his hands where his ears would be if he had them, attempting to block out the screeching sound somehow, as he waited to see where he was.

As soon as everything cleared, he looked around at the scene, his eyes squinting as he tried to make sense of everything.

People were everywhere, playing card games, smoking in the corner, drinking; Benson was really glad he wouldn't have to clean up this mess when it was over with.

"This is Audrey's apartment," he mused. "But I've never seen so many people here before…"

The human Mordecai nudged him slightly. "This doesn't look at all familiar?"

Benson looked up at him in confusion, then realization hit.

"This was the party! At her house, that I don't remember!" He looked around. "So where-"

Before he could finish his sentence, he heard a loud shriek that sounded very similar to a raccoon he knew. "PARTY FOR LIIIIIIIFE!" the voice screamed out, followed by the crowd's applause and cheers in agreement.

Benson pushed his way through the crowd toward Rigby's voice, knowing that the raccoon would probably lead him to the blue jay or himself. Sure enough, he found Rigby dancing in the middle of a circle of people, doing moves that no one sober would ever applaud. But Rigby wasn't in his right mind anyway. His eyes were dilated and he wore a smile that only grew bigger with the circle's egging him on.

On the inside of the circle, joining in with the cheering, Mordecai and the past Benson were holding on to each other like they were life supports. "Go Rigbone!" Mordecai cheered, swaying dangerously against Benson who tried to get a better grip on the blue jay, all the while smiling like a dope.

Benson sighed. Not only was his past self not sober in the least, he was clearly letting himself get too cozy with Mordecai. Benson was pretty glad neither he nor the blue jay remembered this night clearly. It would be too embarrassing.

The song ended and Rigby stopped dancing, breathing heavily as the crowd clapped and moved on. Mordecai and Benson hung close by, still holding on to each other like they were the other's crutches.

"Oh, man, you know what sounds, like, pure freaking heaven right now?" the dazed Mordecai slurred out, wobbling as much as his words.

"What? What is it?" Rigby asked, drunken energy coursing through him.

"A coffee. From…from wherever Margaret works at," the jay responded, giggling a bit at his forgetfulness.

"Oh, yeah, coffee sounds sah-weet!" Rigby shouted, his tail twitching back and forth. "Let's go-go-GO!"

Mordecai turned to the not sober Benson, smiling. "What…what d'ya say, Benny?" he teased, gripping the other's shoulders tightly. "Does coffee sound good…to ya?"

Benson grinned, and shoved Mordecai, enough to make him back away, but not fall. "Sounds…freaking fantastic," he slurred back. "I just…I just hafta go to the bathroom real quick. I'll meet ya outside."

The bird nodded, then wobbled his way out of the apartment, Rigby following at his heels.

Before the intoxicated gumball machine man could make it to the bathroom, Audrey blocked his way. "Oh, leaving already, Benson?" The blond sounded disappointed.

"Yeah, yeah," he stammered, trying to gather his thoughts. "I'm leaving….with those two morons." He giggled gleefully, as if he had just told the world's best joke.

Audrey brought out a piece of paper. "Well, I just wanted you to have this, before you go." She shyly gave him the paper with her number on it and a piece of tape, securing it to his body.

"Th-thanks, Aud-Ree." He giggled again with a little wave of goodbye and practically fell out of the apartment.

The human Mordecai's laughter joined the many other party goers as Benson turned bright red. "See, this is why I don't drink anymore," he mumbled, stomping after his drunken self.

* * *

><p>Outside, the trio was stumbling in a zig zag line on their way to the Coffee Shop. Benson follows with the human Mordecai, rolling his eyes at all the giggles and loud voices. "They're not even going the right way," he says to man behind him.<p>

Rigby suddenly stopped walking. "Uh…is this the way?"

Mordecai looked around, confused. "I don't think so, man."

The drunken Benson pointed to a store, making everyone else look. "Oh my God! Look! Look at that!"

The three move slowly, their faces in awe. Benson smiles a little, following them.

He likes the record store he pointed out. It's one of the kind of places you wouldn't really see unless you were drunk and examining the beauty in all life's situations. A song crooned out from the outside speakers.

Rigby took a gasp of air, smiling. "This song is my JAM right here!" He started dancing, singing to the crappy pop song. "Since you been goooooone! I cannot breathe for the first time!"

"Ugh, your choice of music insults my ears, dude," Mordecai said as he tried to block out the song.

"Whatever, dude, I'm gonna stay and enjoy this," Rigby retorted as he sat on the ground and laid back, continuing to sing horribly off tune.

"I can't handle this," Mordecai mumbled, stumbling further ahead. Benson followed, a smile on his face.

By the time the two watching the memories had caught up to the jay and the gumball machine man, they were sitting on some random person's stoop outside their house. Mordecai smiled at Benson, making him smile back.

"Y'know, I really like it when we hang out, Benson," he said softly. "You're not as high strung as you usually are and you don't even talk that much, only to say something when you have to, so you don't yell. I wish I could see you more like this."

The past Benson grinned as the Benson watching blushed. "I like it when we hang out too," he said, his voice warm. "I like…" He pondered, then giggled. "I like you."

Mordecai laughed. "I like you too, man." A moment of silence passed, but it was a peaceful moment. The intoxicated Benson looked like he might fall asleep as his head drooped lower and lower, but Mordecai saw and laughed softly, tilting the man's head up. "So, what kind of music do you listen to?"

Benson looked at the jay with sleepy eyes, his smile still apparent. "I like rock and stuff."

"And stuff, huh?" The bird rested his head on the gumball machine man's shoulder. "I like a lot of stuff people haven't heard of really. But there is one song I love that everybody knows."

Benson looked down at Mordecai in mock disbelief. "Mordecai, the hipster, loves a song that's mainstream?"

Mordecai flicked Benson's arm in response. "It's impossible to not love this song. Y'know…" And with that he started to softly sing. "Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you. By now, you shoulda, somehow, realized what you gotta do."

Benson smiled, looking up at the sky. "I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you now." Mordecai smiled in return.

"See? Everyone loves Wonderwall."

"That's because it's awesome."

The bird snuggled deeper into the gumball machine man's shoulder. "So what's your one embarrassing song, huh?"

Benson stiffened. "Uh, I can't…I can't sing," he said quietly.

The bird lifted his head. "Oh, come on, Benny," he whined. "Anything's better than Rigby's singing."

Benson smiled a little, but turned his head away. Mordecai sighed in defeat and placed his head back in its former spot on his shoulder. Then he heard a soft, slightly out of tune voice.

"When you were here before…Couldn't look you in the eye…You're just like an angel…Your skin makes me cry…"

Mordecai lifted his head to look at Benson, quiet as he observed the blushing, drunk gumball machine man sing quietly to him with his head turned away, his favorite song, and his most embarrassing.

"You float like a feather…In a beautiful world…I wish I was special…You're so fucking special." His voice grew a bit louder, but he still refused to look at the bird who was captivated by his performance.

"But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here." He closed his eyes.

"I don't care if it-" He was cut off by Mordecai's wings, turning him towards Mordecai's face as his eyes opened. Benson's voice quavered and fell off, as he gulped. He was face to face with the bird he wanted to be with so much. Mordecai looked back in his eyes, though his expression was unreadable. Slowly, he brought his beak closer to Benson's mouth. He paused with each centimeter, wanting to be sure.

Benson licked his lips in nervousness, and then Mordecai's lips were on his. Soft, gentle, questioning kisses. Benson kissed back, letting his eyes roll back into his head as Mordecai's wings surrounded his body. Their kisses became more enthusiastic and then they were just making out on someone's stoop that they didn't know.

Benson watched all of this, his eyes holding the scene like it won an Oscar for Best Picture. He couldn't look away if he wanted to. It was every dream he had at night, and it had already happened. He just didn't remember it.

A whistle broke the two apart from each other, with shock and guilty chuckles. "Dudes, I found the shop!" Rigby's voice carried from a block where they had walked down.

Mordecai stared at Benson, then clumsily got to his feet, offering his hand to the gumball machine man. "We better go," he said, half regretful.

Benson took the jay's wing, not trusting his voice to not crack. The two followed after the sound of the raccoon as they walked toward the Coffee Shop.

The human Mordecai put a hand on Benson's slumped shoulder. "I need to fast forward again," he said softly. Benson stared after Mordecai and himself and only nodded.

The next part, Benson was quite familiar with. Benson, Mordecai and Rigby woke up outside the house without a clue of what had happened and Benson began to scream that the two were fired. Mordecai pointed to the paper still on Benson's chest.

"Benson! Look!"

"What?"

He saw himself pick off the paper, and read Audrey's number with a smile as the friends asked what it was.

"Get back to work," he said, pretending to be grumbly.

Rigby sighed and began to walk away, holding his stomach and grumbling. Mordecai went to follow his friend, but not before seeing what was on the paper. He held his stomach, but looked sad as he followed Rigby into the house.

Benson watched himself fold up the paper and walk, a little happier, into the house. _If only I had known what really went down_ he thought.

"So do you get it now, Benson?" The human asked, his voice hopeful.

"It was me. I'm the reason for his coma." On one hand it was so wonderful. There was no unrequited feelings. But he was the cause for Mordecai getting sick. He blamed himself for not begin able to come out with his feelings sooner. _I caused him to suffer like this, for how long now?_

His thoughts were scattered when the human Mordecai hugged him. He realized the memory was gone, and the black, red, purple space of nothing was back.

"Now you know," the human said, smiling as he pulled away. "Now you can help him."

"But how?" Benson watched as the human began to fade away, just like the memories.

He pointed past the gumball machine man. "Go that way, until you find the Doubts. They're what's keeping him here, miserable."

Benson nodded and turned, feeling a kiss brush his cheek as he did so.

"Good luck Benny." With that, the human Mordecai was gone.

Benson took a deep breath and began to walk toward the direction the human had pointed to, preparing himself for seeing Mordecai, finally.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading.<strong>


	8. The Doubts

**Sorry again for making you wait! Only one more chapter after this!**

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><p>Benson had been walking for what felt like twenty minutes. There was nothing in sight except more of the eternal void. Thoughts flew around in his head, driving him crazy.<p>

_Shouldn't I be there by now? _he questioned himself. Still, he trudged on, eager to find Mordecai.

Finally, a white speck ahead seemed to turn into something more than a speck. Benson's feet quickened the pace and before long, he was in a full out sprint, ready to save Mordecai. But the closer he got, the more he slowed down.

The white shape was High Five Ghost, with Muscle Man at his side. Benson sighed. He didn't think he would have had to deal with anyone else, but there you go.

He walked up to the two friends. "Hey guys, could you-"

"Ugh, don't even talk to us, you queermosexual."

Benson gaped back at Muscle Man, who glared at Benson. High Five nodded in silent agreement.

"Excuse me?" Benson choked out, still in shock.

"You heard me, Mordecai. We don't really appreciate what you wanna do with our boss."

High Five nodded again. "That stuff's just plain sick!"

"Wait, I'm Benson, guys," the gumball machine man tried to reason.

"I don't wanna hear about it, Flaming-go! Get your gay butt moving!"

Benson looked down at himself, making sure something hadn't happened to make him change appearances, but he was the same old gumball machine. _What the hell is going on? _he questioned, a frown on his face as he walked slowly away from his employees. He didn't think they would react like that in real life…would they?

He was lost in his troubled thoughts as he bumped into someone. He took a step back and looked down to see the other coffee shop girl that worked with Margaret. What was her name? Eileen?

"Sorry about that, Eil-"

"Mordecai, did you really not get with Margaret so you could be with your boss? I mean, to each his own, I guess, but how do you know he's not just using you for office sex?" The mole girl acted concerned, but her words shocked Benson to no end. He blushed at her implications.

"I would never-"

"He could have a major power play going on if you let him in on that fantasy. Plus, you know he's probably not gay. He has that one girl in his apartment building who he's pretty close with, you told Margaret."

Benson listened in shock. Mordecai didn't think he was gay? He thought he was with Audrey? This was bigger than he thought. He rushed past Eileen, anxious to find the blue jay.

Next, he saw Don. The usually so happy raccoon wore a sad face, shaking in dismay as Benson ran past.

"Mordo, I thought I knew you better than that. I just can't give out sugar to a guy who really likes other guy's sugar," he called.

Benson ran faster. _These aren't real_, he told himself. _They are the Doubts. Mordecai's nagging thoughts that keep him from making his move. _

He stopped suddenly. In front of him were two Skips. _How come they're starting to multiply?_

"Mordecai," the yeti started in his lecture, "I'm afraid Benson just doesn't like males. You have to get over it and move on with your life."

The other Skips looked on almost angrily. "You're not good enough for Benson," he mumbled.

Benson shook his head clear and continued on, thinking hard with each quick stomp of his foot closer. _They are ALL his thoughts. The people he cares about will appear more often._

He looked up in time to see two Pops staring him down.

"Benson can't be with you, Mordecai! I'm afraid you're not his type!"

"You're going to rip our little family apart if you pursue him, Mordecai!"

Benson walked past, avoiding eye contact and wrapping his metallic arms around himself. It just felt creepier and creepier as he went on.

"Why don't you love me Mordecai?" A Margaret appeared, teary-eyed next to Benson. He walked a little faster.

"All those years, you yearned for me," the accusing robin popped up on Benson's left. He jolted away, as if she were an open flame.

"How can you decide you're really gay?" A thousand accusing, sobbing voices chorused into a terrifying harmony and Benson was running again.

Now Rigbys were everywhere.

"I can't believe you'd get with that son of a B!"

"Ugh, you don't even like ladies now?"

"You're disgusting!"

Benson knocked a few of the raccoons out of his way, screaming to hopefully never hear what he was hearing. By the time he stopped, he heard a voice all too familiar.

"Why would I want to be with a good for nothing slacker like you?"

He opened his eyes to see a crowd of himself. Unlike the other Doubts, that were facing towards Benson, all of these Bensons were facing toward the middle of the crowd.

Benson's stomach lurked. _Mordecai_, he thought before approaching the gumball crowd.

"I would never be with a man, are you kidding?"

"I don't even like you as a person! How could I be even remotely interested in you romantically?"

"I hate you!"

The further into the crowd, the harsher the other Bensons became. They screamed curse words and made threatening gestures. Benson's heart dropped as he elbowed the Doubts out of his way to arrive at the middle. The sight horrified him.

Mordecai lay in the middle of the circle, holding his legs close to him with tears streaming out of his shut eyes. He whimpered with each scream and hurtful laugh the crowd of Bensons gave him.

One Doubt came closer to the jay than the others, leaving Benson to watch as he slowly brushed the feather under Mordecai's chin and brought his head close to his. Mordecai's eyes opened slightly as the Doubt smiled encouragingly and leaned in for a kiss.

Mordecai seemed hesitant, but kissed him back, tears still streaming. After a few seconds, the Doubt pulled away, looking at Mordecai, who looked back as if this were his last hope.

"I don't remember doing this before," the Doubt said slowly, his smile fading away. "I can tell I definitely don't like it now though."

Mordecai's smile broke, as he stared his Doubt in the face as it rose higher over him. "No," Benson whispered, trying to get closer.

"It was all just the alcohol, I guess," the Doubt continued, looking down on Mordecai. "Ya know, I wonder if maybe you even drugged me. To get a chance to have some action with the guy of your dreams." He scoffed then. The jay shook his head and dropped his gaze.

"Stop," Benson said, shoveling past the other Doubts.

"God, you're so pathetic, you have to drug a guy to get some action," he continued. "You're just sad. A sad, pathetic, homosexual blue jay that no one will ever love."

"Shut UP!" Benson screamed, raising a fist to punch the fake him. He closed his eyes, ready for the impact of metal against glass.

He felt nothing. He heard nothing. He opened his eyes, only to see all the Doubts had disappeared, leaving him with a shaking, sobbing Mordecai at his feet. Benson did a double check, then slowly knelt down to help Mordecai.

His gentle touch was met with an unexpected and harsh slap. "Wha-Mordecai?" Benson leaned in closer, only to be shoved back and pinned on the ground, staring into a pair of red, angry eyes.

"Don't touch me," the jay spat out, his voice strained from all the tears. "I'm sick of being hurt! That's all you've done so far! I hate having hope that someone I love is going to love me back, only to have it thrown back in my face that it will never happen! So just leave me alone!"

Benson tried wiggling out from the jay's grip, but he wasn't moving an inch. "Mordecai, I'm not trying to hurt you! I'm trying to help! All those Doubts, they're gone now! It's just me, the real Benson!" He stopped struggling and looked into the jay's eyes, hoping he'd realize.

Mordecai stopped glaring enough to look him up and down before quickly letting him go and turning around, embarrassed and weary.

Benson coughed and brushed himself off, then looked toward the jay. "You okay?" he asked awkwardly, mentally cringing. He went all this way to prove his love for the jay only to mutter 'you okay'?

Mordecai let out a dry chuckle. "No, actually. I've been stuck in my own head, replaying my worst case scenarios for two days now. Definitely not okay."

Benson reached for Mordecai's hand, but the jay shifted it away again. "You don't have to pretend to like me," he muttered, holding his wings close to his body.

Benson was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"Benson, it freaking hurts that you'll never like me the way I like you, but it hurts way worse if you think pretending to like me will get me better. I have to deal that I'll never have you, and it would be freaking cruel of you to lead me on and get my hopes up again."

Benson shook his head in disbelief. "God, and I thought I was slow."

Mordecai looked back in anger. "Don't insult me right now! I know you've got your little thing with Audrey! You love her!"

Benson started laughing; he couldn't help it. Thinking that yesterday he had thought Mordecai of being in love with Audrey and now Mordecai was accusing him!

Mordecai's anger and resolve weakened. "What? Why are you laughing? It's not funny."

Benson wiped a tear from his eye. "Mordecai," he started, his tone becoming more serious, "I'm not in love with Audrey; hell, was never in love with Audrey. I'm," he took a deep breath, "I'm gay, for Christ's sake."

Mordecai looked back confused. "But, the party, and the phone number, and-" He stopped trying to make sense of it all and sighed, turning away again. "You're just going to hurt me again."

Benson grabbed the bird's beak, turning his head back towards him. "Mordecai, I can't say I'll never hurt you," he said, a sternness in his voice as Mordecai looked on with awe. "I can't say I'll always be there for you. Hell, I may not even be able to help you next time something like this," he gestured to the strangeness of the situation, "happens. But one thing I do know for certain." He took another deep breath. "I will never be the one to leave you." His heart seemed to wait on edge while the bird pondered.

"What do you mean?" the blue jay asked, confused. Benson sighed, annoyed his romantic speech was for naught.

"I'm trying to say I love you, you ass."

Mordecai searched his face for any form of denial, but found none. The smallest of smiles appeared on his beak. "Really?"

"Does this prove it?"

Without any hesitation, Benson pulled the bird closer and locked lips with him.

Then the world began to shake and become brighter again.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading.<strong>


	9. The End

**I just want to thank you so much for reading this, and I really hope you enjoyed it. **

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><p>Benson closed his eyes tight against the growing brightness, but held tight to Mordecai, determined not to lose him again. The shaking seemed to have finally subsided when he cautiously opened his eyes again.<p>

He was back in the house again! Back in Mordecai's room. He quickly glanced to the bed and was greeted with two bright eyes staring back at him. He realized he was clutching the jay's wing still, and tried to let go in his embarrassment. But Mordecai kept his hand close.

"You went to all this trouble just to bring me back?" he asked softly. Benson's heart melted.

"I'd do anything to bring you back, from anywhere," the gumball machine man answered, a pale blush filling his face.

Mordecai smiled and swung his wings around his hero, pulling him into a passionate kiss. Benson, flustered, didn't respond at first, but slowly he linked his arms around the bird and kissed him back. Things might have grown more heated if not for the sudden sound of the door opening.

"UGH!" the raccoon gagged, doubling over, shielding his eyes. "GROSS!"

Mordecai and Benson practically leapt apart from each other, blushing furiously as a chuckle rose from below. "I told ya you shouldn't have gone up there," Skips called.

"Well, I didn't know what you meant!" Rigby whined. "How was I supposed to know they were doing THAT in the room we share?"

Mordecai grabbed a pillow and flung it at his friend. "God, will you shut up? I'm barely awake for a few minutes after being in a COMA and you're already being annoying!"

"Get back to work, Rigby," Benson mumbled, his blush nowhere close to fading.

Rigby groaned. "Oh come on, Benson. I just wanna make sure my bro is ok after everything he's gone through!"

Mordecai sighed, eager to be alone with Benson again. "Dude, I'm fine. Just, give me a few minutes, please?" He shot a look at his friend, who thankfully understood.

"Alright, fine. Just don't come crying to me when you're done hanging out with your _boyfriieeennnd!"_ He ran out of the room, snickering, as Mordecai launched another pillow at him.

"Look, I'm really sorry about Rigby, he's just-" Mordecai looked at the gumball machine man, who was looking rather oddly at him. "What?"

Benson blushed again, looking away from the jay's questioning gaze. "You didn't say I…wasn't…your boyfriend." He felt stupid, like he was in high school again. He hadn't felt this way in…years.

Mordecai smiled, a little embarrassed as well. "I guess it's because, well, I've already imagined you as my boyfriend for kind of a long time."

Benson smiled back, pink still tinging his cheeks. "Oh." He awkwardly walked closer and slowly laid a kiss on his new boyfriend's cheek. "Well, I guess I better get back to work."

Mordecai sighed. "You can't take one day off from work to help care for your recovering boyfriend?" he asked, faking a cough and batting his eyes pitifully.

Benson pretended to think it over. "Well, I guess we have to make sure you're feeling better," he said, trying to be serious. His beaming smile ruined the mood he was going for.

Mordecai pulled him into a hug, then scooted over on the bed, motioning for Benson to lie down as well. Once the gumball machine man got comfortable, he snuggled up next to his lover.

"I love you," Mordecai sighed blissfully, cuddling up to Benson's chest. Benson held him close, closing his eyes.

"I love you too."

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><p><strong>A bit short, but I hope you enjoyed it all the same. :)<strong>


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